frozen pipes.

Shout out to all the other homeowners out there who also woke up to frozen pipes this morning. Hopefully they didn’t burst, flood your house with freezing water, destroying everything in their icy wake. Speaking from experience, that is The Worst. Actually, no. The Worst is when you walk downstairs on the morning of your first day at a new job to discover sewage water has flooded your living room. Go to work, or stay and deal with the poo-water? I believe that decision is about as adult as it gets.

Turns out, tree roots had grown through my main sewage line, blocking waste water from leaving my house. The first time the poo-water flood situation happened, I’d owned the house for three months. Yes, there was a second time. Happened again about a year ago. In between those two incidents, my pipes froze and burst in the night. Roth Rooter and I are besties now. I also know the best companies in the Northern Virginia region for water damage restoration. Shout out to Jenkins.

There was also that time when a raccoon and some squirrels were having an all-out death match in my attic as I was sleeping. Fang and I moved downstairs to the couch for the night to avoid the sounds of squirrel screams. I have audio recording. It is extremely creepy. Side note, ever try getting a roof replaced in the middle of winter? More difficult than you’d think. What really got me about the whole survival-of-the-fittest attic situation? I’d had a critter control guy over to check out my roof and attic when I heard the distinct sounds of chewing and chittering above my head every night for weeks. Critter Dude told me there was “no evidence” of any woodland creatures in my attic. Critter Dude was wrong.

Growing up, I watched my parents do battle with their home and thought they were just particularly prone to remodeling accidents and bad luck with things breaking down. Now I understand that is just the nature of owning a home. While trimming a tree, you may drop a branch on and destroy the pool. Or, you may accidentally take down a load-bearing wall. You know, shit happens. With my own house, the ridiculous issues that come up on such a regular basis makes me wish I had my own personal handy man. Or a magic wand. Reparo.

Even with all the hassle, I will say that I lovmy home. Coming back after a month living in a hotel, my house is so… me. Plenty of space to move around. My own bed, couch, towels. My pillows and coffee maker. My artwork. I’m not thrilled that I can’t take a shower until my pipes thaw, but it is a small price to pay for my own little slice of comfort. I raise my coffee cup to you folks out there dealing with whatever small home emergency has cropped up with the dawn. *Sip*